A Sad Sorry Writer I Am

During my elementary days, I received a few awards for winning writing competitions on district and division levels. In my high school and college years, none came by, but still people regarded me as a good (if not, above average) writer. I was not sad then.

Writing is the only thing I can do, and yes, it is what I do to put food on my table. I write for a living, but am I writing things I really like? What else can I do with it aside from earning me my paychecks?

I have a sister who is also a writer but she did not write for a living. She is a call center agent and she happens to be a better writer than I am.

I also had one workmate who is an all-around writer. He writes short stories, poems, essays and short novels both in English and in the vernacular. In addition to that, he also composes music. Like my sister, he does not write for a living. By the way, he is a website designer.

Both my sister and my workmate treat writing as a hobby. They write what they like. My sister does not like the nature of my job as a web content/SEO article writer. I should write something I like, she told me one evening during dinner at a local McDonald’s.

My workmate is a “fellow” of a writers society. He also belongs to a group of writers that release underground literary compilations. He also has access to many writing seminars or meet-ups. Among the perks he enjoys being a writer is that he gets to meet and socialize with other writers.

(I think I am the only writer who has social anxiety disorder.)

If you know the situation I am in now, you will know I am in a sad sorry state.

I have no mentors. I really have to encourage or motivate myself or else, no work, no pay.

I have to depend on writing as my source of livelihood. I have no special skills, vocational or whatever skills to apply for a non-writing position. With writing as my occupation, I wonder if I can treat it as a hobby. I don’t know if I can use it as a hobby to keep me sane.

(I wonder how newspaper writers handle their occupation.)

I am in a sad and sorry state.

But at least, I have a job, right?

I don’t care if it is an occupation or a hobby.

What’s important is that I can do it and that I do every writing task the best as I can to uphold my reputation.

As a web content/SEO article writer, I must do it “write” (pardon the pun) for the clients or else their business suffers.

I firmly believe I can bring my writing skills to the highest level.

I have faith in me as a writer. I believe I am one of the best in the world.

But still I am sad and sorry for the lack of support and camaraderie.

It’s alright. It’s okay.

As long as I can still put my ideas and thoughts on paper or MS Word.

The credits is always mine.

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1 Comment

  1. edenloibsalilig

    I stumbled across your blog because I was looking for a guide on how I can get a postal ID here in Cebu. Right after that, I couldn’t help but read your other posts. I find some of them very insightful especially the ones which talk about social media and technology (I sort of have a love-hate relationship with the two)

    This post just makes me really sad. I think it’s normal for every writer to doubt himself. Like you, I am also a writer and I depend on my writing skills to make a living. I worked at a call center for two years only to resign after because my heart was not in it. I felt like the work was sucking the soul out of me. I took up a writing job after and I didn’t care if the pay was low. I knew in my heart writing was what I wanted to do so I took it. I have faith in myself that I’ll improve and become more valuable in this industry and you should too.

    Keep inspiring others with your writing.

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